Sometimes what you’re doing is enough. Sometimes – and probably likely – what you’re doing is too much!
We are asked to do too much. We are expected to be perfect — or least we THINK we’re expected to be perfect.
Prefect skin, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect food, perfect house, perfect kids. It all needs to be perfect, but also you can’t think too much about it because you also can’t show that you’re trying to be perfect – perfection with ease – that’s the way to be.
Don’t take care of yourself because that’s SELFISH, we’re looking for self-LESS, while being perfect with ease. Please don’t have a self while doing your perfection. If you look like you’re uncomfortable, or working hard at the perfection it’ll make other people uncomfortable. Don’t do that. yuck.
All snark aside, does this sound familiar? does this sound like the struggle you’ve been living with? How do we retrain ourselves to put US on the to do list? I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. What does putting ourself first actually look like? How do we shift our lives so everyone is cared for, including ourselves?
When you’re fulfilled – emotionally, mentally, nutritionally, energetically, spiritually – you can be the source for your loved ones! When full, you can overflow and support those outside of yourself with ease and joy.
Can you imagine?!
It’s almost too much to imagine though isn’t it? It takes baby steps to get there. It takes support systems and networks to make small changes that lead to bigger ones. It takes putting one foot in front of the other, every day, in the direction of fulfillment and joy. It’s not comfortable work. It’ll make those around you uncomfortable as well (after all, you’ve been contorting yourself for years to make others at ease), but it’ll be worth it, I promise.
Sometimes doing less is more, and taking baby steps to a happier, more complete you, is probably less work (though maybe flexing new muscles) than the work you have been doing to be a perfect ______ (parent, wife, daughter, lawyer, teacher… fill in the blank).
This is work I’m doing everyday. Flexing new muscles, leaning into the the discomfort, knowing there is even more joy and ease coming. Trusting that my web of support will catch me when I stumble and I know I will. Getting up again, and taking the next best steps for me! Because when I’m feeling and being my best SELFISH self, it’s easier for everyone around me to be their best selves too.
Join me on this adventure! we can find your next steps too! I promise – it’s the good kind of hard.